May 19, 2015 – Early Morning of Departure

So, we’re 15 hours away from the first leg of our European trip and I’ve been awake since 11:30 pm.  Part of me being up so early is because of Ernie batting me for snoring.  As per my usual these days, I thought it was somewhere around 2:00 am and decided to get out of bed.  Ernie asked where I was going – I told him I’d be right back and just then, I heard the little one crying.  I went outside for a moment and when I came back in, he was getting some milk ready for her.  I tried to lay down and go back to sleep, but it just wasn’t happening.  I ended up doing my usual anyway – come out to the couch and watch some TV while waiting out her crying.  That backfired, so I went and got her out of bed.

Now, mind you, she never napped yesterday, so one would think she would sleep like…well…a baby.  Nope.  As soon as she came downstairs, she took off like it was 8:00 am.  She played for a while, ripped my glasses off of my face several times and I was getting extremely, exhaustively frustrated.  By this time, Ernie was awake again (if he ever really got back to sleep) and started picking out and ironing more clothes for vacation.  Once she snatched my glasses again, he swooped in, picked her up and took her to bed.

The crying had finally stopped but I set my alarm for 4:00 am, plus have already had at least 3 cups of coffee, so sleeping really isn’t in the picture now.  I’ve already taken Valium this morning since I had a mild panic attack yesterday and I don’t need another one right now.  I’m so nervous about this flight and being homesick that it’s eating away at me.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m excited for this adventure, but my anxiety runs deep.  I couldn’t even read my guidebooks last night because I didn’t want to chance another attack.  I need to take a shower and get ready soon, so I can finish my packing and make sure I have everything I use everyday.  Yes, I know there are stores there, but I want to be as prepared as possible.  I wonder if I took and hour and a 1/2 (scribble, scribble)….Oops.  Well, I’m dozing off and I just need a little….

(Yes, this is exactly how I ended it that early morning.)

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