I stepped out of my shell and did something last weekend. I went with some old chums from my library days (along with another 1.2 million people) down to D.C. to hopefully kick off a movement. I was going to post my entries separately but I figured I would just do them in chronological order in one post. Be warned – there may be some repetition throughout my posts. So bear with me as I take you on a journey to find empowerment and meaning in my life.
1/20/17 – 8:24 am
I can’t believe I’m doing this! I’m going down to D.C. on Inauguration Day 2017 to get ready for the Women’s March on Washington tomorrow! My nerves are in a bundle! I’m excited! I’m scared! But most of all, I’m proud of myself for being an active participant in this gathering. I have some very strong beliefs going into this March and what it stands for. The denigration of women and minorities throughout the last year had my blood boiling and my pressure through the roof!
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next four years. I know that, to be fair, we all should give our new leader a chance. But it’s very hard to do, at least for me, after seeing the actions, hearing vague promises and actually, literally, watching the clip in which he talks about sexually assaulting women because of being a celebrity and the public – well, the antiquated Electoral College – still voted him in!
I understand our choices were weaker than we had hoped. But this one? Really? I swear he looked through his phone contacts and randomly picked people to serve in his cabinet. Seriously. You pick people who have no established basis in this or that field and for what? You owed them a favor or something? I know, I know. I sound like a really bat-shit crazy woman. That may be true to an extent. But COME ON!
I’m just so full of excitement and anxiety about this trip that I’m rambling now. So I’ll stop for now. Calm down a bit. Gather my thoughts. Shit, I’ve been up since 2 am. You see why I’m all over the map? Anyway, more to come…
1/21/17 – 5:02 am
Solitude before the masses. I’ve been up since 3 am (is that anything unusual for me?) and all I need to do is empty out my backpack and get dressed. I’ve only felt a few twinges of homesickness since I got here, which is excellent in my book. My headache is slowly going away (thanks, Cabernet Sauvignon) but I feel almost ready for this day. (Although, I swear I went through a hot flash this morning…YIKES!)
And now I’ve hit a wall on what I wanted to say. I could sorta recap yesterday, although it may be a bit boring. A sliver of shopping, free wine at the hotel bar and then came Reality. Well, actually, it came up before that when I hit up Facebook after being alerted to the fact that riots were going on in Washington after the inauguration (I’m still in Virginia). To tell you the truth, it didn’t surprise me in the least. Did it start up my anxiety? Yep. But not too high. (As I’m writing this, the medics just came into the hotel – 5 of them, with a stretcher and supplies. Hmmmm….)
Anyway, we had CNN on and it was, by far, one of the worst things we could have done. The fucking Inaugural Balls (Yes, I laughed hysterically at that. To be fair though, I was drinking.) The whole Trump entourage. The no-name acts that performed. It was a joke. And I’m seriously not ready for this four-year train wreck. God forbid it should go to 8….
I am so fucking tired right now. I hope I can make it through this day. But what choice do I have?
1/21/17 – 6:28 am
Ok, a little more awake now. The ladies are starting to get up so I’m going to get my bag together. Need one more layer and I should be good. This is it. We are doing this. I can only hope that people are paying attention. This divisiveness shit gotta stop.
1/22/17 – 6:30 am
I actually slept in! Holy shit! Yesterday wore me out, but was worth it. It truly was one of the most awesome things I could’ve ever done in my life. But I got to keep this spirit going. Can I do that? Or is my inspiration going to fizzle out? I don’t want it to. I want my voice to be heard. Just the fact that women, not only across the country, but the world were marching yesterday brings tears of joy to my eyes. I almost cried several times yesterday during the March – surprisingly, not from anxiety!
I’m proud to be a woman. This was a hue step in being a good example for my daughters. I want them to be proud of me and look up to me when they truly understand what my friends and I did here among the other hundreds of thousands of women and men in D.C. (I can’t fathom what the numbers are worldwide.) But I feel like we made history here yesterday. I’m glad to be a part of that history. I took pictures of women of all ages, whether marching or being wheeled around in a wheelchair, and it made me feel exhilarated that I marched along side of them.
What’s sad is that, although it was covered by the media, especially for those who couldn’t be here or at one of the sister Marches, that narcissistic piece of shit (no, I can’t bring myself to say his name or title yet) didn’t give two shits about it. What was his top priority? Whining through his dweeby press secretary about how the media reported the numbers of his inauguration attendance erroneously. Really? The fuck is wrong with you. 4 years of this. 4 fucking years. I won’t say 8 because I would hope that people aren’t that stupid to make the same mistake twice.
And even though top news was of the Marches, reporting turned to the fashion of the first family and how the daughter-in-law was bowling in heels. Who gives a flying fuck about this shit? I get it now. I’m not going to get swept up in this frivolous “news” shit. There are rights of people who are under attack. And this oompa-loompa is making us even more of a laughing-stock to the world.
The media isn’t helping either. I need the real news. The shit that really matters. Yes, I am guilty of liking and getting caught up in awards shows and what the nominees are wearing. But that’s what that’s about! This impish creature has no fucking clue what he got himself into.
1/22/17 – 12:37 pm
We’re on our way back home now and I’ve gotten caught up with the images and posts about the worldwide Marches (including the one in my hometown!) and all I want to do is cry. Not weeping for the future. But this hope that from this day forward, we will stand up and resist. We will stand up and shout out to the world that we are not going to be controlled by some fascist who is just blindly signing his name to executive orders that he has no understanding of.. How dare this sexual predator – an ugly, makes-me-want-to-rip-off-my-skin, sorry excuse for a man be the face of this country! I just don’t get it. How in the fuck could you not see past his rhetoric and shake off the fact that he literally admitted to assaulting women and still vote for him???
And this archaic Electoral College has got to go. One vote should equal one vote, not this hundreds of votes per one compared to fractions of a vote for another. Democracy is so outdated. I understand that we the people want to adhere to the foundation that this country was built upon, but that doesn’t mean changes can’t be made. Times alone have changed since the establishment of the U.S. Why can’t the foundation be revamped too? It’s not like things haven’t been amended in the past.
I read something while scrolling through posts that – and I’m paraphrasing – ” we have just begun the next Civil Rights Movement”. Civil Rights Movement 2.0. You know what? As much as it pains me to have to consider this needs to happen in 2017, I’m totally for it. I want my daughters to feel safe, wanted, equal. I want them to be proud of who they are as females. And I sure as hell want them to stand up and fight for causes they believe in and make a difference. I don’t feel like completely the same person I was 2 days ago. I feel better about myself. I feel emboldened, empowered. I feel like this is a reason I’m here – to take a stand and make things better. I can’t let this feeling go away. Not for me, for the sake of my girls and for the sake of all the women out there in the world. We are not the weaker sex. That time is over. Wake up, world. A new Women’s Revolution has begun.
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