“When are you due?” “Are you pregnant?” “Take care of that little baby of ours!” (Ours??) “How far along are you?” **rubs my belly** Or the worst of all – “Please tell me you’re getting fat and not pregnant!”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked that by a patient since I started working out of the home, I would be at least halfway to my new tattoo (it’ll be of Audrey Hepburn, by the way, by the one and only Sarah Miller! But I digress…).
Not a week, NOT ONE, has gone by, without someone asking about my “pregnancy”. I had 7 people in 4 days straight say it in one way or another. Do you know what it’s like to say LOUDLY, in a room full of patients, that you’re not pregnant; that you’re just fat??? Do you????? Do you know how hard it is to laugh it off too????? Yes, I imagine that there might be a reader or two out there with similar situations, but not the whole lot of you.
I had two kids. I got lazy. I ate a lot. But, on the brighter side, I’ve lost 15 lbs in the last couple of months. I’m not down to my goal weight yet, but I’ll get there. You can bet your ass, I will. Will my stomach ever get back to “normal”? You can bet your ass, it won’t. But I’m still going to lose it anyway, because I’m tired of these….these….motherfuckers (YES. I fucking said it.) saying this shit to me all the time.
There are clothes that I bought that I love to wear. They happen to accentuate my misshapen body. It’s not going to stop me from wearing them. And if you’re sitting there saying “Wear looser clothes, then.” – fine. You go out and buy them for me. These are the clothes that I like. And one day, I’ll fit even better into them.
No matter what they say, I still get compliments, winks and different types of proposals too. Granted, I’m married – no harm, no foul though. All of these people don’t know when to keep their mouths shut, no matter what it’s saying.
Until I do lose the weight that I want, go ahead and say something to my face. I’ve been wanting to throat-punch a bitch so bad these days. And like I said before, I’m Flawless…